"LAND PIRATES" No Contest October 31, 2000

by
Gordon Hom

In this NASH episode, we get a spectrum of religious mockery and comparisons. We get a nun who is pregnant, a Jewish lawyer who turns on his client, and of course there is Angel, Nash's self-declared guardian angel. There is a certain outrageousness to this, as the Catholic church is more notorious for its wayward priests who take advantage of young boys. The NASH twist is to throw it back on the women, as we get bar-cruising Sister Victoria who claims to be a virgin miracle. What kind of nun is this? She not only lies, but she is a shameless liar. She's got sexy lingerie, she cruises the Enigma Bar, she gets pregnant, and she soothes her conscience by confessing all this to Father Tim. What did Father Tim say to Sister Victoria - say a few Hail Marys and it'll be all right?

And then there is Jewish layer Ira Buxbaum, who's first words we hear are "How are you going to pay me?" This is NASH BRIDGES' bold and outrageous throwback to the most negative stereotyping of Jews not seen for a while on prime time television. Do the writers actually think this is funny? The NASH twist is that Ira then begins to become unprofessional (that is, not representing his client fully and fighting for his client, no matter how undeserving), and Ira goes against his lawyerly grain in shoe-horning his client into a plea bargain with the SIU. Oh, the NASH BRIDGES' defense is that the plea bargain is actually fair, but the manner of its delivery is that Ira is getting some payback on his client for robbing his son's bar mitzvah money. Conflict of interest, anybody?

Then there is the return of Angel, the homeless man who really does seem to possess some divine insight into what Nash needs. Nash brings Angel home to Nick, and Angel does seem to have a positive effect on the Alzheimer prone Nick. While these jabs and fearless treading through religious territories fill this NASH episode, the crime aspect is almost throw away. The main crime story of hyped-up pirates is so smug, the bad guys so generic as to be almost undistinguishable (as Harvey appropriately comes up with nicknames for them like Blackbeard, Low IQ and Suave Bola), and the outcome so predictable, what's the point? Just shoot 'em and knock 'em down like bowling pins, just like Nash does in the beginning (Nash does kill one of 'em), and Harvey does at the end. There is no contest here, there is no mystery to "Land Pirates", not even in a quixotic character like Angel.

For more, see synopsis for Episode 104

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