"GOODBYE KISS" The Tease Is Over May 15, 1999

by
Gordon Hom

There's no getting rid of Caitlin Cross. The log line we hoped to write for this season finale was something like: The deadly Russian assassin known as "The Tourist" returns to kill Nash, but Caitlin is caught in the crossfire and killed instead. And then Caitlin joins the long line of female characters written out of NASH BRIDGES. Even Nash's wives are written off (like STAR WARS, Nash's wives are banished to a place far, far away...) No such luck with this female character.

NASH BRIDGES plays out the tease right down to the wire, right down to the last few minutes of the finale. And it truly is like a strip tease as Caitlin is shown in her Frederick's of Hollywood's finest. She strips down, but Nash only removes his jacket (vest still on to hide that gut from drinking too much fine wine). We get this sex scene (but Don, ya just got married, for Christ's sake), as if this were some sort of pay-off for enduring an entire season of mawkish sexual tension...The Man himself didn't miss a trick either, with Don timing his surprise wedding a couple of weeks ago at the start of May Sweeps to generate interest in the show.

The real surprise is Evan. He's a Bad Boy, caught coitus interruptus by Cassidy. Evan flips his gun, BANG! A bang that ends with a bang, as it were. But is Evan shot dead? Or shot in the groin (like he deserves?) Is it comedic or tragic? Will Evan return? Remember last season's phony cliff-hanger with Nick having a heart attack, and Nick's fate seemed uncertain. Well, Evan is one of the inside boys, (unlike Nash's wives, or any of the other female cops) and One of the Boys don't get killed. We could be wrong, but don't think so. Evan could possibly be replaced with Jake Cage, who's actually quite amusing in this episode.

The soap story arc of the Boys and the Girls is completed with Harvey finding out he has fathered a child with Anna. All of Harvey's girlfriends turn out to be strippers for some reason. Anna has a child to support, as if to make her saintly after a May Sweeps performance as a stripper with a nightstick wedged between her legs which Anna strokes like a penis. That was last week; this week it's Caitlin stripping, and groans and humping from an accommodating waitress. Along with wrestler Steve Austin as Jake Cage, NASH BRIDGES returns to its tried-and-true ratings magnets - strippers and wrestlers. Cable TV, watch out, the networks are stealing from you.

For more, see synopsis for Episode 78

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